


Death is but the next great adventure

by WolfyB



Category: NCIS
Genre: Canonical Character Death, F/M, I guess it's kind of uplifting?, I'm really sorry for this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-22
Updated: 2014-04-22
Packaged: 2018-01-20 11:03:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 452
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1508156
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WolfyB/pseuds/WolfyB
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This is a sad little story I wrote after watching NCIS Season 4 Episode 16 (and then crying for half an hour). </p>
<p>Some thoughts on Roy's death.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Death is but the next great adventure

**Author's Note:**

> Don't hurt me if it's awful! Also, the lack of capital letters was a stylistic choice - I wanted to soften the actual story. This is only my second ever fic on ao3 and my first for this fandom so please don't hate, i am a mere child :((

the first thing she knew about roy was that he was beautiful.   
  
not handsome, or roguish, like tony; not distinguished and rugged like gibbs; not cute and charming like mcgee.   
every time she saw him, while they were running, she thought of how beautiful he was. that never went away.   
he was still beautiful, even as the poison killed off his hair follicles, his - his him. he was beautiful in bone structure and features, always, but mostly in his bravery.   
  
roy did not fear death - he didn't embrace it, like abby, but he definitely wasn't afraid of it.

 

the second thing she noticed was his fitness.   
  
he was a strong runner, who always seemed to blast past her. of course, he later told her he did that to impress the 'ladies'.   
she thought that even into the final stages of his illness. he was a fighter, not so much clinging to life as fighting off death.   
while he was not afraid to die, he told her, he was afraid to leave after they had known each other after so short a time. after all, had he not reported in, she might never have known him.   
  
this seemed foolish to her at the time.

 

the third and final thing she noticed about him was more something she learned about herself.

he was oh so lovable, everyone thought so - even his killer professed to never wanting to hurt him - and she, broken heart and all, fell for him. she realised that, in different circumstances, she and this man could have lead very different lives; together or apart.   
roy sanders was a good man. honest, brave and true.  
ziva david had never considered herself a good woman. she had made too many mistakes, killed - killed many.   
yet by his side she felt different. as they said at his funeral, roy had a way of making you feel like time with him was time spent in the sun, but that when you weren't his main focus you were still there. you didn't go behind a cloud, you weren't replaced, you just - coexisted.   
but good men don't always get to walk free.   
roy certainly didn't. whatever lives they could have lead, they didn't. they only had the one chance in this lifetime.   
but ziva knew. she knew beyond all doubt that she was grateful she'd had what little time she did with him. what they had was pure, and she knew that just that little bit of time with him had helped wipe clean her own slate.

she loved him, and she missed him. but she was happy to have known him.

 

 

_'it is better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all'_

 


End file.
